Nervous About Starting a New Job Abroad? A Complete Guide

Your contract is signed, your bike is ready and your alarm is set for 7 am. You should feel excited. Instead, your stomach is doing somersaults. If you are nervous about starting a new job abroad, you are in very good company.

A first job in a new country stacks several big changes on top of each other: a new team, a new language, new unwritten rules and often a new city. This guide explains why the nerves show up, what to expect in your first weeks and how to calm the jitters so you can actually enjoy the start.

Key Takeaways

Feeling nervous about starting a new job abroad is common, because so much is new at once.
Probation periods have clear legal limits in the Netherlands and Germany, so knowing them removes some uncertainty.
Reframing nerves as excitement can help you perform better than trying to calm down.
Asking questions early is one of the strongest predictors of settling into a new role.
If the nerves stay heavy for weeks, talking it through with a qualified counselor can help.

Why You Feel Nervous About Starting a New Job Abroad

Why does a new job abroad feel so much bigger than one at home? Because it rarely arrives on its own. If the build-up is weighing on you, BetterHelp offers online psychological counseling, so you can talk it through with a qualified counselor by video, phone or chat before and after your first day.

Does it mean you made the wrong choice? Almost never. Here are four reasons the nerves feel strong.

A Lot of Change at Once

At home, a new job usually means one change: the job. Abroad, it often comes with a new flat, a new commute, a new bank account and a new circle of people, all within a few weeks. Your brain is working hard on everything, so there is less capacity left to stay calm.

Expect the first weeks to feel tiring even when nothing goes wrong.
Give yourself simple evenings and plenty of sleep.
Keep as much of your outside life steady as you can.

A Second-Language Workplace

Even if the team works in English, meetings, jokes and lunch chat may switch to Dutch or German.
Listening in a second language is tiring, and it is normal to miss things.
Most colleagues expect newcomers to ask for repetition, so ask.

Many internationals worry that their language level will make them look less capable. In reality, colleagues tend to notice effort more than accent. A short "could you say that again?" costs nothing, and it is far better than guessing.

Higher Stakes Abroad

You may have moved countries for this job, so it can feel as if everything depends on it.
Your residence permit may be linked to your employer, which adds pressure.
Friends and family back home may be watching how it goes.

Naming the stakes helps: the job matters, but it is one part of a bigger life you are building. Most first months are bumpy, and most people come through them fine.

Impostor Thoughts

Many new starters secretly wonder whether they deserve the job. A 2022 study by Basima Tewfik at MIT Sloan found that employees with more impostor thoughts at work were rated by supervisors as more effective with colleagues, with no loss in performance. These thoughts also tend to fade as people settle in.

Impostor thoughts are common in new roles, especially abroad.
They often push people to listen more and work well with others.
They usually fade as competence and familiarity grow.

What to Expect in Your First Weeks Abroad

A lot of nerves come from not knowing what is normal. Knowing a few rules and customs in advance takes much of the uncertainty away. And if the newness still feels overwhelming, BetterHelp matches you with a qualified counselor after a short questionnaire, so you have a place to talk it through. So what does a typical start look like?

The Probation Period

Most new jobs start with a trial period. In the Netherlands, the government's business portal explains that a proeftijd must be agreed in writing and is capped: no trial period on contracts of six months or less, up to one month on temporary contracts between six months and two years, and up to two months on permanent contracts. During it, either side can end the contract straight away.

In Germany, the Civil Code caps a Probezeit at six months, with two weeks' notice on either side during that time.

Check your contract so you know exactly how long your trial period lasts.
Treat it as a two-way test: you are also checking whether the job suits you.
Our guide to passing your probation has practical tips for this window.

Workplace Directness

Dutch colleagues in particular have a reputation for being direct. Leiden University notes that the Dutch are known for their directness, and that people value it because everybody knows where they stand.

Treat direct feedback as information, not a personal attack.
It is fine to ask "what would you suggest instead?"
Over time, many internationals come to appreciate the clarity.

If you come from a culture where criticism is softened or hinted at, a blunt comment in your first week can sting. Give it a day before reacting. Most of the time, the colleague simply wanted the work to improve and would be surprised to hear it landed badly.

Punctuality and Formality

In German-speaking workplaces, details matter. A 2026 guide on deutschland.de, run with Germany's Federal Foreign Office, explains that punctuality is a sign of respect, that colleagues and managers usually start with the formal "Sie" until "Du" is offered, and that most firms keep work and free time separate.

Arrive a few minutes early, especially in the first weeks.
Follow your colleagues' lead on first names and formality.
Do not expect, or offer, late-night emails unless the team works that way.

Small habits like these send a big signal in the first weeks. Turning up on time, matching the team's level of formality and respecting the line between work and free time all show that you are paying attention, which builds trust quickly.

Onboarding and Questions

Good onboarding makes a real difference. Talya Bauer's onboarding guide for the SHRM Foundation, published in 2010, describes four building blocks: compliance, clarification, culture and connection. Not every employer covers all four, so you may need to ask for the missing pieces yourself.

Ask who to go to for practical questions about systems and processes.
Ask how success in your role will be measured.
Ask about team rituals, such as lunch or Friday drinks.

How to Calm Nerves Before Your First Day

The days before you start are often the most nervous part. You have time to imagine everything that could go wrong, and nothing to do yet. So what helps? These four steps make the first morning far easier.

Reframe Nerves as Excitement

Trying to calm down is not always the best strategy. In a 2014 Harvard study, Alison Wood Brooks found that people who said "I am excited" before a stressful task felt more excited and performed better than people who tried to calm down. Nerves and excitement feel similar in the body, so it is easier to relabel them than to switch them off.

Before you walk in, tell yourself, "I'm excited to start."
Notice that the racing heart is energy you can use.
If the nerves feel heavier than excitement, a BetterHelp counselor can help you prepare in the weeks around your start date.

Plan the Practical Details

Do a test commute at the same time of day, including bike parking or tram changes.
Check what to bring: ID, bank details, tax number or BSN, signed contract.
Lay out your clothes the night before so the morning has fewer decisions.

Practical certainty frees up mental space. When you know exactly how you will get there and what you need, there is less room for worry to fill.

Prepare a Short Introduction

Prepare two or three sentences about who you are, where you are from and what you will be doing.
Add one personal detail, such as a hobby or what brought you to the city.
Practise it out loud a few times, especially if it is in a second language.

You will introduce yourself many times in the first week. Having a ready answer makes each introduction easier and gives colleagues something to connect with.

Rest the Night Before

Keep the evening calm: an easy dinner, a short walk, an early night.
Avoid scrolling through work emails or rereading your contract at midnight.
If sleep does not come, rest anyway; one short night will not ruin your first day.

Many people sleep badly before a first day, and almost nobody notices the next morning. Adrenaline carries you through the first hours, and by lunchtime you will be too busy learning names to remember how tired you felt.

How to Settle In During Your First Month

The first day is soon over. The first month is where you really settle in. How do new starters adjust fastest? Research gives some clear answers.

Ask Questions Early

A 2007 meta-analysis led by Talya Bauer, covering 70 samples of newcomer adjustment, found that role clarity, confidence in your own abilities and feeling accepted by colleagues were linked to job satisfaction, commitment, performance and staying in the job.

Ask what is expected of you in your first 30, 60 and 90 days.
Ask early, while being new gives you a natural reason to.
Write down the answers so you do not have to ask twice.

Asking can feel uncomfortable at first, especially in a new culture. But most managers prefer a newcomer who asks over one who guesses and gets it wrong.

Find One Friendly Colleague

Look for one person who seems approachable and ask them small questions.
Join lunch or coffee breaks, even if the conversation is partly in another language.
Social acceptance is one of the strongest drivers of settling in.

A single friendly colleague can make the whole workplace feel less foreign. Often, other internationals in the team are happy to share what they wish someone had told them.

Write Things Down

Keep a notebook of processes, names, acronyms and tools.
Note small wins at the end of each week.
Review it before one-to-ones with your manager.

Notes also help with the language load. Writing down a term or a process once means you can look it up later instead of asking again, which keeps you moving and saves you from that small sting of feeling like a beginner.

Ask for Feedback

Ask your manager for a short check-in after two weeks and again after a month.
Ask, "What should I keep doing, and what should I change?"
Early feedback is easier to act on than surprises at the end of probation.

For more practical tips on the first three months, our guide to your first 90 days in a new job covers everything from onboarding to building relationships.

When Nervous About Starting a New Job Turns Into More

Most first-job nerves fade within a few weeks as the place becomes familiar. Sometimes, though, the feeling stays heavy or grows. How do you know when it is worth paying closer attention?

Notice What Lingers

Nerves that fade as you learn the job are normal.
If you dread work every morning for weeks, or the feeling spills into your evenings and weekends, take it seriously.
Notice whether the worry is about the job itself, the team or life abroad in general.

That last distinction matters. Sometimes the job is fine, and what feels heavy is everything around it: loneliness, a difficult flat or missing home. Untangling the threads makes it much easier to decide what, if anything, needs to change.

Talk to Someone Outside Work

Friends and family can listen, but they may not understand the workplace culture.
Other internationals often recognise the feeling and can share what helped.
A qualified psychological counselor can help you sort out what is going on and build practical strategies.

Talking to someone outside the workplace gives you a safe place to think out loud. It also helps you tell the difference between normal settling-in nerves and a job that may not be the right fit. Many internationals find that building your network outside work, through clubs and events, also takes pressure off the job itself.

Give Yourself Time

Most people need three to six months to feel truly comfortable in a new role.
Abroad, that timeline is often longer, and that is fine.
Mark your progress: the first meeting you led, the first joke you understood, the first task you finished without help.

Conclusion

Feeling nervous about starting a new job abroad is a normal response to a lot of change at once: a new team, new language, new customs and higher stakes. Knowing what to expect, from probation rules to workplace directness, removes much of the uncertainty.

Before day one, reframe the nerves as excitement, plan the practical details and prepare a short introduction. In the first month, ask questions early, find a friendly colleague and ask for feedback.

If you need someone to talk to right away, call TelefonSeelsorge in Germany on 0800 1110111, 0800 1110222 or 116 123, or De Luisterlijn in the Netherlands on 088 0767 000.

FAQ

Is it normal to be nervous about starting a new job abroad?

Yes. A new job abroad usually comes with a new language, new customs and often a new city, all at once. Feeling nervous is a normal response, and it usually fades within a few weeks.

How do I calm my nerves before my first day at work?

Do a test commute, prepare what to bring, lay out your clothes, practise a short introduction and tell yourself you are excited rather than trying to calm down.

How long is a probation period in the Netherlands or Germany?

In the Netherlands, a trial period is capped at one or two months depending on the contract. In Germany, a probation period can last up to six months.

What if my new colleagues are very direct?

Direct feedback is common in Dutch and German workplaces. Treat it as useful information, ask for suggestions and remember that it is usually about the work, not about you.

When should I talk to someone about new job nerves?

If you dread work most mornings for several weeks, or the feeling spills into your free time, talk to someone you trust or a qualified counselor.