24 Ways of Getting Support After Moving Abroad

At home, your support network built itself over years: family nearby, school friends, a neighbour who knew your name. Abroad, you start with almost none of that. When something goes wrong, the question is not only what to do but who to call.

Building support takes time, but it can be done on purpose. Here are 24 practical ways of getting support after moving abroad, from understanding what you need to building a close circle and a wider network around you.

Getting Support Starts With Knowing What You Need

Support comes in more than one form. The friend who helps you move furniture may not be the one you call after a hard day. So what kinds of support do you actually need, and from whom? These six steps help you work it out.

Talk to a Counselor for Steady Support

While your local network is still forming, one steady conversation can make a big difference. BetterHelp offers online psychological counseling, so you can talk to a qualified counselor by video, phone or chat from wherever you are. A counselor can listen without judgement, help you sort through what is going on and suggest practical strategies. Unlike friends, a counselor is not part of your social circle, which makes it easier to be honest. It is a useful anchor while the rest of your support network takes shape, and you can change counselor if the fit does not feel right.

Know the Four Kinds of Support

Researchers often describe four types of social support. A 1997 review by Catherine Langford and colleagues in the Journal of Advanced Nursing set out the four types: emotional support, such as listening and comfort; practical help, such as lending a hand or a bike; informational support, such as advice and local knowledge; and appraisal support, such as honest feedback. Knowing the four types helps you see that one person does not need to provide everything. Different people can meet different needs. Spreading your needs across several people also protects your relationships, because nobody feels they have to carry everything for you.

Map Who You Already Have

Take a sheet of paper and write down everyone you could turn to, wherever they live: family, old friends, new classmates, colleagues, flatmates, online friends. Next to each name, note what kind of support they can offer. Your best friend at home may be great for emotional support but cannot help you find a plumber in Utrecht. A colleague may be ideal for local advice but not for late-night talks. Seeing your network on paper often shows you have more support than you thought.

Spot the Gaps

Once you have your map, look for gaps. Perhaps you have plenty of emotional support from home but nobody local for practical help. Perhaps you have local acquaintances but nobody to talk to honestly. Gaps are normal in the first year abroad. Naming them gives you a clear target, such as "find one person nearby I could call in an emergency" or "find someone who understands the local job market". Small, specific goals are easier to work on than "I need more friends". Pick one gap to work on each month, so the task feels manageable rather than overwhelming.

Ask for One Thing at a Time

Asking for help feels hard, especially when people are new in your life. Research by Francis Flynn and Vanessa Bohns found that people underestimate compliance with direct requests for help by as much as 50%. Start small. Ask a classmate to explain a form, a colleague to recommend a doctor or a neighbour about the bin days. Small, specific asks are easy to say yes to, and each one builds a connection you can lean on later. Thank people properly afterwards and offer help in return, which turns a single favour into the start of a real relationship.

Keep Old Friends Close

Moving abroad does not mean losing the people who already know you well. Old friends and family are a vital part of your support network, especially for emotional support. Keep regular contact: a weekly call, a group chat, a shared playlist or an online game. Be honest with them about how life abroad is really going. They cannot support you with things they do not know about, and many will be glad to be asked. On harder days, our guide to staying close to the people back home has more ideas. Old friendships also remind you who you are while everything else changes.

Building Your Inner Circle Abroad

Your inner circle is the small group of people you can rely on most. Abroad, it starts empty, and filling it takes time and repetition. While it grows, a BetterHelp counselor can be a steady voice in your week. So how do you build that circle? These six ideas help.

Aim for a Few Close People

You do not need dozens of close friends. Research by Wei-Xing Zhou, Didier Sornette, Russell Hill and Robin Dunbar, published in 2005 in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B, found that human social groups come in layers that grow roughly three times larger at each step: about 3 to 5 closest people, then around 9 to 15, then 30 to 45. Aim first for that innermost layer: three to five people nearby you can rely on. Quality matters more than numbers. Three people who would answer your call at midnight are worth more than fifty contacts who would not notice if you went quiet for a month.

Invest the Hours

Close friendships take time. Research by Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas, published in 2018, found that people who had recently moved needed around 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, around 90 hours to become friends and more than 200 hours to become close friends. That is months of regular contact. Do not be discouraged if your new friendships still feel light after a few weeks. You are simply early in the process. Keep showing up, and treat every coffee, lecture and shared bike ride as hours that count towards the friendships you are building.

Say Yes to Repeat Plans

One-off nights out are fun, but repeat plans build friendships faster. A weekly sports session, a regular Sunday dinner or a monthly board game night gives you the repeated contact that turns acquaintances into friends. When someone suggests "let's do this again", say yes and put a date in the calendar. Repetition does most of the work. Over a few months, the people you see every week naturally become the people you turn to when you need support.

Find One Local Friend

Other internationals understand your situation, but at least one local friend can transform your support network. A local knows how things work: which doctor to see, how to handle a landlord, where to get a bike fixed. They also connect you to their own network. Language exchanges, sports clubs and colleagues are good places to meet locals. If you want more ideas, our guide to making local friends and building a social life abroad has plenty of starting points.

Lean on Flatmates

Flatmates are often the closest people to you, at least physically. They see when you come home late, when you skip dinner or when you seem quiet. A good flatmate relationship can be a real source of everyday support: a cup of tea after a long day, help with a broken bike or a chat in the kitchen. Invest in it with shared meals and small favours. Even if you do not become best friends, a friendly flat makes a big difference to how supported you feel. Agree on basics like cleaning and guests early, so small frictions do not get in the way of the relationship.

Join Other Internationals

Other internationals are going through the same things you are: paperwork, homesickness, cultural surprises and new jobs. That shared experience creates fast, easy connection. Join international student groups, expat meet-ups or online communities for your nationality or language. These groups are often the first place internationals find support. Over time, you may want to mix your circle with locals too, but in the early months, people who understand the experience can be a huge relief. Look for groups that meet in person as well as online, because face-to-face contact builds trust faster. Many cities also have WhatsApp or Telegram groups for specific nationalities, which are often full of practical tips from people who arrived a year or two before you.

Getting Support From Your Wider Network

Beyond your inner circle is a wider network of acquaintances, classmates, colleagues and services. These weaker ties matter more than people think. And if you want help working out where to start, a qualified psychological counselor on BetterHelp can help you plan practical next steps. Here are six ways to build this outer layer.

Value Weak Ties

Not all useful connections are close ones. In a classic 1973 paper in the American Journal of Sociology, Mark Granovetter described the strength of weak ties: acquaintances often bring new information and opportunities that close friends cannot, because they move in different circles. A classmate's cousin who knows a landlord, or a colleague from another team who mentions a job, can change your life abroad. Be friendly with acquaintances, and do not underestimate what a casual connection can bring.

Chat With Classmates and Colleagues

Small interactions add up over time. A 2014 study by Gillian Sandstrom and Elizabeth Dunn in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that students felt happier and had a greater sense of belonging on days they talked with more classmates than usual. These casual connections with weaker ties, not only close friends, were linked to well-being. Say hello, ask a question after class, chat in the coffee queue. These moments make your daily life feel more connected, and some of them grow into friendships.

Use Your University's International Office

If you are a student, your university's international office is one of the best sources of practical support. Staff help with residence permits, housing questions, admin like registration and other practical matters you would otherwise struggle with alone. Many offices also run orientation events, buddy programmes and social activities. Study advisers can help with academic worries. Find out what your university offers in your first weeks, so you know where to turn before you need it. Save the office's email and opening hours in your phone, so the information is there on a stressful day.

Visit an International Centre

Many cities run free one-stop centres for newcomers. The Hague's international centre, run by the municipality, helps newcomers in The Hague and surrounding towns with registration, citizen service numbers and residence permit steps, and runs welcome events. In Amsterdam, IN Amsterdam offers a free helpdesk, a guide to your first month and community events. Check whether your city has something similar. These centres save time and stress, and their events are a good place to meet other newcomers.

Join a Club or Volunteer

Clubs and volunteering put you in regular contact with the same people around a shared interest. Sports clubs, choirs, hiking groups, community gardens and volunteering projects all count. The shared activity takes the pressure off conversation, and regular meetings build familiarity over time. Volunteering also connects you to your new city in a meaningful way and often brings you into contact with locals of all ages. Pick something you genuinely enjoy, so you keep going even on cold, dark evenings. If you are unsure where to start, try three different groups in your first month and keep the one where you felt most at ease.

Find a Language Exchange

Language exchanges pair you with someone who wants to practise your language while helping you with theirs. They are one of the easiest ways to meet locals, and they often turn into friendships. Many universities, libraries and cafés run exchange evenings, and there are online platforms that match partners. Beyond the language practice, your exchange partner can become a source of local knowledge and practical tips, a valuable part of your wider network.

Getting Support That Lasts

A support network is never a one-off project. It needs a little care over time, especially as your life abroad changes. How do you keep it strong? These final six habits help.

Check How Supported You Feel

Feeling supported matters as much as the number of people around you. A 2019 meta-analysis by Michael Bender and colleagues at Tilburg University and Erasmus University combined 76 studies and found that social support was linked to better adjustment among international students, and that feeling supported mattered more than the objective amount of support. Every few months, ask yourself honestly: do I feel supported? If not, that is a signal to reach out more, not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Give Support Back

Support works best in both directions. Offer help to others: cook for a flatmate who is ill, share what you have learned about the local system, listen to a friend who is struggling. Giving support strengthens relationships and makes it easier to ask for help yourself. It also reminds you that you have something to offer, which matters when you are new and often feel like the one who needs help. If you want to support a friend well, our guide to supporting a friend through a hard semester has practical advice.

Keep a Regular Rhythm

Support networks fade without regular contact. Build a rhythm: a weekly call with family, a regular plan with local friends, a monthly check-in with old friends abroad. Put these in your calendar like any other appointment. Regular contact keeps relationships warm, so when you need support, it feels natural to ask. It also means people notice when something is off, because they are used to hearing from you. Small, frequent contact usually works better than rare, long catch-ups, because it keeps you part of each other's everyday lives.

Update Your Map Each Season

Your life abroad changes: new jobs, new flats, friends who move away. Every few months, look at your support map again. Who has become closer? Who has drifted? Where are the new gaps? Updating your map helps you notice changes early and invest where it matters. It also shows you how much your network has grown since you arrived, which can be encouraging on harder days.

Know Where to Turn for Practical Help

Some support is practical: a key holder, a person who can collect you from the airport, someone to call if your flat floods. Eurostat reported in 2017 that 6% of EU adults had no one to ask for help when they needed it. Make sure you are not in that group. Identify at least one or two people nearby you could call for practical help, and offer to do the same for them.

Build Support Into Your Studies

If you are studying, support from classmates and staff can make a real difference to how you cope with academic life. A 2026 meta-analysis by Sari and colleagues in the Journal of International Students combined 13 studies with more than 6,000 participants and found that social support was linked to international students' academic adjustment. Form study groups, attend office hours and get to know your tutors. Academic support is part of your network too, and it often leads to friendships. Tutors and supervisors can also point you to university services you did not know existed, from writing support to student societies.

Conclusion

Getting support after moving abroad starts with knowing what you need: emotional, practical, informational and honest feedback. From there, map who you have, spot the gaps and ask for one thing at a time. Build a small inner circle through repeat plans and invested hours, and a wider network through classmates, clubs, international centres and language exchanges.

Keep it strong with a regular rhythm, by giving support back and by checking how supported you feel.

If you need someone to talk to right away, call TelefonSeelsorge in Germany on 0800 1110111, 0800 1110222 or 116 123, or De Luisterlijn in the Netherlands on 088 0767 000.

FAQ

How do I start getting support after moving abroad?

Map who you already have, spot the gaps and ask for one small thing at a time. Join groups with regular meetings and keep in touch with friends and family at home.

How long does it take to build a support network abroad?

Months rather than weeks. Research suggests it takes around 50 hours together to become casual friends and more than 200 hours to become close friends.

What if I need support but do not know anyone yet?

Start with services designed for newcomers, such as your university's international office or a city international centre, and consider talking to a qualified counselor while your network grows.

Do I need a lot of friends to feel supported?

No. Feeling supported matters more than the number of people. A few close people nearby, plus a wider circle of acquaintances, is a strong network.

Can online friends and family at home be part of my support network?

Yes. Old friends and family are often your best source of emotional support. Combine them with local people who can offer practical help and local knowledge.